The Triad – Physiology, focus and language
One of the core beliefs of Human Needs Psychology is that its not our conditions but our decisions that shape our destiny. So what shapes our decisions, both in the short term and the long term? There are three factors – three moulders of meaning that shape our decisions we make in the moment.
There are three patterns that shape the meaning we associate with our life experiences:
- Patterns of Physiology – How you use your physical body such as breath, posture, movement etc.
- Patterns of focus – Whatever you focus on you will feel.
- Patterns of language/meaning –As soon as we put words to an experience, it changes the meaning of the experience.
Emotional Pain is always the result of constructing and creating a disempowering meaning within ourselves. By changing our physiology, focus and language/meaning we can shift to a more empowering state and make more empowering decisions.
Your Physiology - Emotion is created by motion. Whatever you’re feeling right now is related to how you’re using your body. Consider your physical posture right now. Are you shoulders slumped or are you standing or sitting up straight with you head held high and your shoulders back? Do you find yourself looking down at the ground or toward what’s out there in front of you?
2. Your Focus - Whatever you focus on you’re going to believe. Focus equals reality to the individual, even though it’s not reality in actuality. Change your focus. Are you fixated on all the bad stuff that’s happening to you or focusing on the possible solutions to the problems? Are you playing the role of victim or problem solver? Are you complaining about all the stuff you don’t have or are you expressing gratitude inside for what you do have?
3. Your Language - What words are you using in talking to yourself and/or others? Thinking is nothing more than mentally asking and answering a series of questions. Eliminate any habitual questions that do not serve you. Are you asking yourself, “Why does this always happen to me?” or are you saying instead, “what can I do with this?” If you want to change your life, pay attention to the words you repeat to yourself.
Changing just one of these three components will quickly affect the others. Change your posture, and you’ll find that your mental focus begins to change, as this happens, you’ll find yourself using different words and phrases, and this, in turn, will continue to affect your posture and physiology. And the whole thing works in reverse too – start by changing your language and the rest will follow!