Back to School - With the End in Mind

Back to school – with the end in mind

With 48 hours until the new school term starts my son and I head for the golf course. I have many things on my mind I want to chat and explore with Ryan to help him and bring us closer than ever before as father and son team. Like all Mums and Dads we want a lot for our kids.

As we head down to course we explore many things, starting with a question I ask and take seriously, “Ryan how can I be a better father and friend to you”?  This always brings laughter but it’s important that I ask Ryan as being aware of your child’s world is vitally important in growing our relationship, especially now as he is a teenager.

We initially discuss the three things that will hold him back from getting the year at school he wants?

1.       Failure to anticipate the road ahead. We take Ryan to the end of his 4th year today on golf course to imagine what that looks like and feel like, he is smiling wildly.

2.       Lack of follow through. Ryan has work experience next January, but he has already emailed 3 CEOs of large corporations to request shadowing CEOs directly, acting instantly and following though immediately, smart strategy.

3.       Your own psychology / mind-set. Where you do not know, follow and model someone who has the results you want or come to me immediately for help.

Once we have these answers locked in, We then discuss what is your X Factor Ryan, what’s going to make you different from everyone else for the year ahead, what’s going to make you smarter, what strategies will you require and use Ryan?

We explore where Ryan’s thoughts are for going back to school right now? Ryan is clever as we have spoken about this subject over the years; the smartest people anticipate the future and change speedily. So starting school our thoughts go to end of year, then breaking terms, to breaking week to breaking end of day one, then back to start of day one.

 I ask what do you want from year ahead at school Ryan – be specific; when, where, and who do you want it? I then ask Ryan “do you want to try a new strategy”? Ryan is sitting the new Scottish national 5 qualifications for all his subjects going into 4th year, so we discuss meeting himself a year on seeing who he has become though a timeline?

Laying out the timeline on the golf course, now time lines can be imagined, but it is often easier and more powerful to make timeline physical by anchoring in space so you can walk from past to the future and back again, so golf course is ideal, something I do daily very fast. I explain to Ryan “you can use this technique whenever you need to think about the past experience or plan future goals or help someone else to do so”. We use this strategy when outlining the black belt year where Ryan has met himself wearing the black belt and floating across the timeline seeing all the activity and discipline he has to have to achieve such a goal.

 As we walk around the course I ask Ryan “where is your timeline”? I ask Ryan “point towards the past”? “now point towards the future”. “Imagine a line connecting the two”. I feel it’s relevant to say depending on where your map is today, this would tend to change depending on where you are, but where you are is where you are meant to be. This example was about seeing the past starting high school to present but then firing into future for end of 4th year, but connecting the timeline.

I explain to Ryan, “imagine that line of the floor, orient yourself so you are on that line facing towards the future. What does the future look like now”? How far does it seem to go son”?

 I ask Ryan to “look back along your time line towards the past. What does it look like? How far does it seem to go son?

I ask Ryan “step off the timeline and face it square on, now you are through time in a meta position to your timeline”. “What do you think about your timeline?” “What can you learn from it?” Can you see the journey you have had and one you are about to take, the new one for the most important year for you to date, a year where you end with exams passed and a black belt around your waist?”. It’s emotional seeing yourself achieve these goals, now that’s when you know it’s a fantastic goal, when it makes you teary eyed.

 I ask Ryan “step back onto your timeline son, walk back into the past, noticing powerful resourceful memories as you go, stop when you feel you have gone far enough, now walk forward, bringing those powerful experiences and resources with you into the present like a presence from the past. How does that feel champ?” He feels different already.

“Now think about a future outcome, black belt and exams complete at end of year, one that you really want for end of year?” “Step straight into the future at the point when you want to have it”. “Look back from that future point to the ‘now’ son and imagine the steps and stages that you would have to have gone through in order to get from ‘then’ (now) (the future). Come back to the present with that knowledge of how to achieve your outcome”. We look at each other, we hug and I promise him, I will walk it with you champ, you will not be alone, you inspire me each day Ryan to be a better person, a better father and better husband, all you have to do son is “Believe you can and you are halfway there” —Theodore Roosevelt

 Let this journey begin, back to school – with the end in mind, here is to 4th Year at High school 2013.